There just might be a second reason — besides the constant fawning praise for Dear Leader — why Donald Trump chose Sen. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) as his new Secretary of Homeland Security.
Trump has floated the idea of hosting a UFC fight on the White House grounds on July 4th, trampling the memories of John-John and Caroline Kennedy playing on those lawns, and presidential dogs Rex, Barney, and Beau scampering about.
So what could top an ultimate marquee match between Mullin and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth? Let’s call it the “Cabinet Clash:” two Trump testosterone toadies, going mano a mano.
Because if you actually look at Mullin’s qualifications for his new role, there isn’t much that recommends him, other than that he compiled a 5–0 record in professional Mixed Martial Arts.
There was a time when the Secretary of Homeland Security was perhaps the most serious and consequential cabinet post. The job was created after 9/11 to coordinate intelligence, secure our borders, and manage the immense responsibility of protecting 330 million Americans.
Prestigious names have led the department: Tom Ridge, Janet Napolitano, Jeh Johnson. During Trump’s first administration, Gen. John Kelly. Serious people for a serious job.
Then the gravitas of the position took a nosedive when Kristi Noem rode in on her horse. Only this week was she thrown off, for being far less than forthright.
And now there’s Sen. Mullin, a man whose most notable pre-politics credential is that 5–0 MMA record.
Politically speaking, Mullin’s MMA stands for Macho Mixed-Up Ass.
Let’s start with the “mixed-up” part.
This week, Mullin pulled an Abbott and Costello routine, simultaneously arguing regarding strikes on Iran that the U.S. is and is not at war.
First he declared, “This is war, and we’re taking out the threat.”
Then he tried to clarify: “What I was saying was that they’ve declared war on us, but war is ugly. It always has been ugly.”
He finished with this gem: “We haven’t declared war. So if we haven’t declared war, then I don’t see that. The president hasn’t asked us to declare war yet, but they have declared war on us.”
Who’s on first, what’s on second, “I don’t know” is on third, and somewhere on that field of battle Mullin is still milling around, trying to decipher his own explanation.
If you thought Hegseth had captured the trophy for inauthentic and immature machismo, Mullin may give him a run for his money.
In November 2023, Teamsters President Sean O’Brien appeared before the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee. Famously, Mullin challenged him to a fight.
“This is the time, this is the place,” Mullin said. “If you want to run your mouth, we can be two consenting adults. We can finish it here.”
Sure sounds like a sane, responsible adult to me.
This year, at the State of the Union, Mullin grabbed a protest sign from Rep. Al Green (D-TX). Frankly, Mullin would make a fine ICE agent. He’s had practice roughing up a person of color.
And if you’re a member of the media, take note.
In April last year, Mullin posted a video recounting an 1890 incident in which a reporter was shot by a congressman in the U.S. Capitol. Mullin suggested “fake news” might decrease if modern disputes could be handled that way. He said it was a joke. Haha.
Mullin does enjoy “joking” around on Fox News, where he has made something of a habit of embarrassing himself.
In one segment, he waxed poetic about how war has a particular smell and a particular taste. The only problem was that Mullin has never served a single day in uniform.
Even back home in Oklahoma, he has hardly been a profile in integrity.
Mullin ran for Congress on a term-limits pledge, then broke it twice. In 2013 his plumbing business was the subject of an ethics investigation. More recently, he racked up STOCK Act violations, meant to stop members of Congress profiting from insider information.
He called Rand Paul, a senator who will be overseeing his confirmation, a “freaking snake.”
Come to think of it, Paul v. Mullin would also make a great MMA fight.
So this Macho Mixed-up Ass is the man who would oversee the Secret Service, FEMA, Customs and Border Protection, ICE, and the TSA. A man who endorses war — and not war — violence against the press and political opponents, who is ethically challenged and has zero background in security, intelligence, or managing a massive federal bureaucracy.
And all that said, Mullin might yet need to be reminded who his boss actually is.
A few days ago, while discussing Iran on Fox News, Mullin repeatedly referred to Defense Secretary Hegseth as “President Hegseth.” He made the slip twice before awkwardly correcting himself.
The Department of Homeland Security was built in the wreckage of the worst intelligence failure in American history. The job requires toughness but also judgment, patience, legal sophistication, and the ability to manage roughly 260,000 employees across more than two dozen agencies.
So while I joke about a Hegseth-Mullin cage match, Mullin’s nomination is no laughing matter.
Whether he realizes it or not, the United States faces real threats from adversaries around the world, and those adversaries are watching this spectacle of discombobulation, inexperience, and bravado.
When the real test comes, America may discover the difference between a man who talks about the smell of war, and a leader who actually knows how to prevent one.
