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All posts tagged "sex addiction"

Sex addiction and avoiding gender essentialism

I really enjoyed this sparky interview Tracy Clark-Flory did with David Ley, who has an upcoming book called The Myth of Sex Addiction, which is coming out right after Newsweek did a big cover story on "sex addiction", so lucky him. Good timing, David! I'm a known skeptic of the idea of "sex addiction", which really got its start in Christian right circles and is usually deployed in fucked-up ways, to either shame people who actually have normal-enough sexual desires that simply need healthy outlets or to rationalize cheating behavior, especially male cheating behavior, by casting it as a pathology. In the latter case, society uses "sex addiction" to deflect more serious questions about the role of marriage in our society, and particularly the way that male privilege comes into conflict with increasing expectations that monogamous standards of marriage be applied to men as well as women. In other words, "sex addiction" has grown up in no small part because it smooths over the cracks that have erupted as many men cling to male privilege while women have started to demand equal treatment. 

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How *not* to write about sex addiction

By invoking a bullshit evo psych theory predicated on the ridiculous presumption that only men really enjoy and crave sex. T. Byram Karasu may bring all sorts of pedigrees to his argument, but that doesn't matter. It's still choad science that has no relationship to real science. It's hard to even get a handle on how stupid Karasu is being.

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The "sex addiction" model isn't harmless

One of the less fun controversies I've stepped into at Double X was when I questioned whether or not there was such a thing as "sex addiction", pointing out that its biggest proponents are prudes who are looking for a cover story so they can continue to promote themselves as experts without having to get dinged for being sex negative. The most famous, of course, is Dr. Drew, who seems to think female sexual desire that isn't properly contained by his own exacting standards is always the result of sexual abuse. (This little party trick he pulled on "Love Line" always annoyed me, because it's so dishonest. The hit rate when you ask random women if some man has every molested them is extremely high, and so the fact that you "guessed" that someone has been abused is proof not that you have a read on them, but that sexual abuse is that common.) Of course, people invested in the idea of "sex addiction" are going to erect straw man arguments, accusing you of saying there's no such thing as people who act out sexually, people who use compulsive sexual behaviors to self-soothe, etc. No one is saying that, of course. The skeptics merely point out that the addiction model is all screwed up, in no small part because they lean on prudery to convince people that sex itself is the problem---that it's an addictive substance---and that the only way to be healthy is to strictly control your sexual behavior. And that the way to contain it is---surprise surprise---to suggest that sexual behavior outside the Christian Right® approved romantic, monogamous behavior is unhealthy.

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