Colbert joins shill parade for gold: ‘100 coins earns you free life’

By David Edwards and John Byrne
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 -- 10:19 am
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s COLBERT BECK large Colbert joins shill parade for gold: 100 coins earns you free life'Conservative talk and gold go together like Obama and a Hitler mustache'

Conservative hosts like Glenn Beck and G. Gordon Liddy have been sponsored by gold brokers. On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert followed their lead by making his own ad for gold on his Comedy Central show.

"Nation, a quick reminder: don't forget to pick up the latest issue of Sports Illustrated which hits newsstands today," Colbert begins. "Folks, my making this cover proves you can accomplish anything when the Colbert Nation is behind you. That's why our US speedskaters are going to bring home the gold!"

Colbert's comments about his magazine cover are only a segue into a farcical attack on Glenn Beck, Fox News' "King of Gold." Beck has been shilling for gold in television commercials that air during his program -- while at the same time drumming up fear and interest in gold during his show. (Earlier this month, Jon Stewart mocked Beck's digging for gold on the Daily Show -- watch the video here.)

"Speaking of gold,' Colbert quips, "a lot of people are speaking of gold. And no one is speaking more than conservative talk show hosts."

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"Gold's appeal is elemental," Colbert croons. "It practically cries out to you from the periodic table. Ay, you! Yes that's it. Yes, it is. Yes, conservative talk and gold go together like Obama and a Hitler mustache. As right-wing radio host and man-sized big toe Michael Smerconish told Politico, there's a natural synergy between conservative talk radio listeners and gold. Although our first love will always be lead. See, we help you by frightening you, and right now we're frightening you about the declining value of the US dollar. But gold will never lose its value. Did you know if you collect 100 gold coins, you get an extra life? Of course, no one pushes fear of economic collapse or gold better than Glenn Beck.

"So here are the three scenarios we could be facing, recession, depression or collapse," he adds. "I like to call the 3-G system here for this, it's uh, god, gold and guns."

This video is from Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, broadcast Dec. 15, 2009.

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Story comments are below...

  • Quisp
    If Beck is panning for gold I would beware. From what I gather there isnt enough gould to cover all gold stocks being sold.
  • Satan
    Hitler and Obama are a bit of a stretch, he's much more like Bush and Clinton.
  • jimbo92107
    This makes Fox viewers seem like a bunch of dumb bells, heh-heh...
  • incongruity
    I'm still laughing at the gold advertisement in the middle of a story mocking someone who accepts gold advertising... and it's the same company.
  • tootiredoftheright
    It's the google ad effect. If rawstory didn't filter out the porn google ads they would be appearing on the rawstory stories.
  • rawstory
    An aside -- I noticed that, too. Too good to have been intentional ;).
  • craig
    Oh shock. A liberal making the "hitler" comparison. it's okay when a neo-lib does it but if you point out Obamanation's health scare takeover resembles 1930's era Germany, youa re called all sorts of names.

    pelosi is not like Hitler, she's Rosie O'Donnell.
  • Dr. Matt
    Shocking, a teabag hick comparing health care to Nazi Germany. Craig, please provide evidence that this health care bill parallels anything to 1930 Germany.

    We'll wait for you proof.
  • DesertWren
    Someone needs to read the definition of SARCASM and IRONY!
  • tootiredoftheright
    Do you not realize that Colbert is playing a Conservative?
    Seriously he often uses the conservatives own material against them.

    Also 1930s Germany didn't have a universal healthcare system unless you count Abortion being illegal and Hitler ordering any women and doctor who reported a miscarriage to be criminally investigated to see if it really was a miscarriage and not an abortion.

    Also apparently the healthcare system in Germany dates back to the 1880s not 1930s.
    The only thing that happened in the 1930s is that the Universal Health Care system covered all dependents. It had been expanding for decades. The unemployed were covered in 1918, Seamen were covered in 1927.
  • bintexas
    Do you understand satirical humor, craig? From your stupidly asinine post, I'm assuming that the answer to my question is "No."

    Oh, and there has not been any sort of "health scare takeover," you big nutjob. The only folks using fear are people like Beck, the rest of the Fox idiots and hate talk radio. A clue: these people are LYING to you and you're too stupid to know it. Get help . . . quickly
  • craig
    yes, i understand humor and satire and all that. colbert just isn't funny.

    so bintexas, have YOU read the healthscare bills? i doubt it as you most likely get your talking points from colbert. what obamanation wants to push on is is not only unconstitutional but also very, very bad. and democrats are lying when they make just about any statement promising this or that.
  • bintexas
    I don't get "talking points" from anyone, craig. I read and research for myself like most intelligent human beings. Apparently, based upon the BS you posted here, you DO get your talking points from Fox, Beck, and hate talk radio and I will say it again, you need to get help, quickly. Anyone as gullible and lacking in intelligence as you [evidenced by your inability to understand satirical HUMOR] is just dangerous as hell. Get help.

    BTW, I AM a conservative, you appear to be just a Fox/Beck/hate talk radio groupie who thinks that the bull these people are spouting is conservatism. A clue . . . it isn't. Really, hon, get help. These people are lying to you and you're buying it. Very sad.
  • craig
    I'm sure you're 'conservative' all right.
  • bintexas
    I am EXTREMELY conservative and live in one of the most conservative [real conservatism] areas of this country. . . I am a REAL conservative. Not a phony Fox/hate talk radio "conservative." These people don't represent true conservatism, craig. If you believe they do, then you are not a conservative at all. You're just a groupie who repeats the lies you hear on these entertainment programs. BTW, most REAL conservatives don't listen to Fox/hate talk radio any longer, just the uninformed groupies.
  • craig
    do you like the health scare bill bintexas? how 'conservative' are you? do you think it's appropriate in satire or politics to use a "hitler" comparison? especially one that's idiotic? Do you think nancy pelosi and obama are wrong or they are just "misunderstood"? where do you stand?
  • Satan
    Lol, retard.
  • bintexas
    Give it up, craig, you have no idea whatsoever what you are talking about . . . repeating false talking points thrown out by a bunch of phony conservative ENTERTAINERS and RADIO DISC JOCKEYS doesn't make you a conservative, hon, it makes you a really gullible groupie.
  • militantagnostic
    Craig...you're a moron. Please get out of the gene pool.

    KTHNXBAI
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