Judge weighs whether cows enjoyed ’suckling’ cop’s member

By Stephen C. Webster
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 -- 7:07 pm
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Judge weighs whether cows enjoyed suckling cops memberA Pennsylvania judge pondered a very unusual question during a ruling issued Monday: When a former police officer stuck his male member in the mouths of five baby cows, did they enjoy "suckling" it, or were they merely "puzzled"?

"During a bizarre hearing there yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in rural Southampton in 2006, claiming a grand jury couldn't infer whether the cows had been 'tormented' or 'puzzled' by the situation or even irritated that they'd been duped out of a meal," reported Jason Nark with the Philadelphia Daily News.

Weighing the case, Judge James J. Morley reportedly asked: "If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk'?"

Equating the act of putting a penis in the mouth of a cow with a human baby suckling on a pacifier, the judge reportedly added: "They [children] enjoy the act of suckling. Cows may be of a different disposition."

The strained logic of such questions eventually led the judge to waive charges of animal cruelty against Robert Melia, a suspended officer with the Moorestown Police Department.

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Because bestiality is not illegal where the officer committed the acts, Melia was only charged with animal cruelty, leading the judge to determine what exactly constitutes cruelty in this case. While prosecutors called the act "a crime against nature," Melia's lawyer applauded the judge for sticking close to the letter of the law.

"I'm not saying it's OK," the judge said, according to the New York Daily News. "This is a legal question for me. It's not a questions of morals. It's not a question of hygiene. It's not a question of how people should conduct themselves."

"Everybody can laugh and think this is funny, but he never should have been charged in the first place," Melia's lawyer said in a Philly.com story. "A lot of judges will reach conclusions because it's the ruling they want to make. Morley tries to get it right and calls it like he sees it."

Melia and Heather Lewis, his girlfriend, are also facing charges of sexually assaulting three young girls while Melia was a patrolman. Philly.com added that Lewis is additionally charged with the sexual assault of a young male.

The owner of the cows, the Daily News added, was very upset at the ruling.

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Story comments are below...

  • penis_cow
    listen to the justification by "judge" morley .. so i guess this judge would see nothing illegal with someone sticking his member in the mouth of a human infant. they do, after all, enjoy suckling & cannot tell you otherwise anyway.
  • ayant
    As a part of the Judiciary system this is such a disgrace, but wait the whole judicial system in America is a disgrace...
  • mriceraven
    Animal cruelty is the wrong charge. Bestiality (sex with animals) would is a more appropriate charge for that crime, but it is not illegal in all states. That’s not because it is not wrong, but its such a rare incident or strange incident that no one thought to make it a law. Much like necromancy, (sex with the dead). Its should be illegal in all states but its not. Also in this case because the case is strange one could lock him up for menial instability, for if he proves to be a danger to himself or others. At least then he would be out of the petting zoo.
  • edward
    Those calfs are meant to be food...so unless the judge doesn't mind people putting their dick in his food.
  • trippin
    Oh, hell! Now the C-Streeters will find out!
  • yarply
    Equating the act of putting a penis in the mouth of a cow with a human baby suckling on a pacifier, the judge reportedly added: “They [children] enjoy the act of suckling. Cows may be of a different disposition.”

    Is the judge inferring that children enjoy giving oral sex to men???
  • spinninghead
    WTF did I just read?
  • starvapor
    This judge is even more of a loon than the cop.
    All animals should say clear of both of these nut cases.
  • Chaste Udderly
    Sounds like a Philadelphia Phillie fan to me...
  • Rev. Saul Alinsky
    Moo means Noo!!!
  • My3Cats
    This cop -- and his girlfriend -- are pieces of it. Big bags of it. You know -- SHIT!
  • nellieh
    Don't they have at least a mimimal psychological test for their officers before hiring them? I can't see where this a$$hole could pass gas let alone a psychological test. Of course his appointment could be a 'who' not ' what' you know. Pitifu
  • Xostive
    A typical american. Fine upstanding and conservative.
  • dbloch7986
    Uhhh...yeah. Great reporting. "Melia and Heather Lewis, his girlfriend, are also facing charges of sexually assaulting three young girls while Melia was a patrolman. Philly.com added that Lewis is additionally charged with the sexual assault of a young male." Is the LAST paragraph in the damn story? Who gives a crap that he face f***ed some cows. How about reporting on the REAL story or the WHOLE story?
  • imwc
    the guy looks like a character randy quaid would play in a movie...and i thought gary moody was a sick bastard...
  • GrooveBoy
    Rarely does a face so perfectly match the deviation But this loser looks exactly like the kind of sicko that would be sticking his noodle into calves mouths and molesting children. And he was a cop?
    Dollars to donuts he's a die hard Republican.
  • BiteMySweetTarts
    Bestiality is just wrong..period!! Holy crap, if the Judge could have mad a case that somehow the baby cows were dissatified with the disgusting act would that have made the difference for jail time....gimme a break!! The letter of the law is worthless if people aren't willing to take a stand against this kind of behavior!!

    Further, Isn't the real issue here that this man and his girlfriend are also being charged with sexual assualt on THREE YOUNG GIRLS and sexual assault on a YOUNG MALE.....all CRIMES in any state if convicted...!!! This pervert has a history of sexual assualt while being a police officer...duh!!! Come on now....hurry your court proceedings up and put this guy away before he hurts more innocent people....
  • Savantster
    "The letter of the law is worthless if people aren't willing to take a stand against this kind of behavior!!"

    the law is designed to curtail behavior. that there is no law against it in his State says all you need to know. Don't blame him for the fact that the public there likes diddling their cows.
  • thepoliticalcat
    It is not the judge's place to take a stand, except where the law is open to such interpretation. In this case, there is no law for the judge to interpret. The judge cannot make new law. Laws are made by the legislature. The judge can only decide, based on the existing laws and the arguments of counsel in the case, whether the defendant is in violation of existing law. No judge wants to see their decisions overturned by a higher court, so judges, especially trial court judges, tend to err on the side of conservatism. That said, if this case truly upsets you, please urge the PA legislature to create a law covering such crimes as bestiality.

    In the event, this guy is certainly going down for his assaults on young humans. There are laws covering those crimes, even in PA.
  • carwinrpc
    It reminds me of the comment of a friend I used to ride horseback with. One winter morning we were shivering and rubbing our hands together before our ride, and he said to me, "don't fall off, that grounds as hard as a minister's peter in calving season."

    I always thought it was just a joke. I guess it happens...
  • slackdammit
    Hi, I worked in a metal fab shop with a gent from north Florida who would occasionally refer to a piece of metal as being, "Hard as a minister's peter." I Googled, ' hard "minister's peter",' and yours was the only citation. thanks and congrats

    Major Slack
  • marlow
    I'll bet he would have loved to do it in his michelin- man riot gear.
  • cenpendem
    This is a New Jersey case, not a Pennsylvania case or judge.
  • jerrywalters
    Neighbor / farmer friend raises cattle. The calves are in little pens as soon as they are weened. When you come up to them, they just take your hand into there mouths and suckle. For me, it is a finger or two, for the kids, their whole hand past the wrist goes in. It feels 'weird' but the calves clearly want to do it. It would likely be no different with a penis. I agree with the judge, it is not animal cruelty. That being said, that dude is one sick bastard.
  • thepoliticalcat
    Exactly. The sucking reflex is strong in baby animals, including baby humans. That said, what this guy did is disgusting, but it is NOT AGAINST THE LAW if only because the State where he lives has no laws to address this crime. The judge can only decide based on the law. For those of you who didn't know this, the JURY is the trier of fact. The jury decides on the facts of the case. The judge is the trier of LAW. If there is no law on the books that covers such a case, then the judge treads a very difficult path, in that s/he has to consider whether s/he is about to make new law. Please try to understand this and ignore this clearly sensationalist reportage.
  • NoOneYouKnow
    Pennsyl-bama!
  • hneftafl
    This guy is a cop who allegedly molested four kids and five calves. If found guilty, one can imagine how much hell he's going to catch in prison.
  • Jack Mehoff
    Is this guy related to Rick Santorum? He seems like atypical GOPer, out trying to screw over everybody.
  • Sophocles
    Were the depositions in this case presented in writing? Or, was the guy's defense ORAL? Good thing he didn't stick it into the cow's ear, or better still the judge"s ear. Then they would have had a hard time with his hearing. Apparently this guy is willing to stick it into just about any hole. Perhaps the judge could find an attachment that would fit over the disposal on his kitchen sink. Then his kinky girlfriend could just flip the switch and.....
  • This story gave me whiplash! Equating a penis/cow mouth to a pacifier/baby??? That's just one step away from putting the penis into the baby's mouth and claiming the baby enjoyed it! WTF????
  • Savantster
    I agree completely. There's nothing in logic or reason that suggests a baby "enjoys" sucking on a pacifier. It's a biological response to survive, enjoyment is an abstract concept.

    While there was no harm to a calf by having it's "very large" (by comparison) mouth on a penis, a baby's mouth isn't designed for anything that large. And if you start with an infant with no capacity for memory, when do you stop letting it suckle? Some kids at 6 and 7 are still sucking their thumb, and that's considered a psychological lacking.. If you condition that infant to do that act, we know there is likely to be long term psychological damage.. incest is illegal for more than one reason..

    Sexual activity with any living creature that can not give "consent" should be illegal. Bestiality becomes a gray area when you're talking cows and horses, their bodies aren't stressed by such things.. but dogs and chickens? Their bodies aren't meant for such things, and you cause them duress and potential damage..

    If you're that pathetic that you can't manage to get laid on your own, masturbate with some warm butter or something.. but leave the animals out of your patheticism. Sometimes I question the humanity of some humans..

    .
  • greylox
    **Yep! If you carry the judge's thinking to its logical conclusion, then it shouldn't be a crime to stick your dick in a baby's mouth because they "enjoy suckling."
  • cameramandavid
    Another high quality Beck/Palin/Bachmann supporter...
  • turnip
    Is this a obscure Monica Lewinsky joke?
  • Notorious Kelly
    When I was a teenager I tried screwing our Basset hound, but she wasn't having it.
  • marinessuck
    Look at that face---appears tilted to the left as you look at it. So yeah, I'd say this guy's a little off balance.
  • Bestiality is not illegal where the officer committed the acts? Well that sucks.
  • Savantster
    no, that was the calves..
  • buckqjohnson
    Yep, and these are the "first responders". The sadists are attracted to jobs like this because of the power and the belief that they will never be brought to pay for any crime that they do.
  • missskeptic
    Uh, Mr. coderga, he sexually assaulted four minors while a policeman - I'd call that hurting others.
  • Taser M Backe
    It's been said that Pennsylvania is Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Arkansas in between...well, guess this proves it.
  • dennycrane
    Just ask that "Horsely" Republican that told us that living on the "farm" boys had sex with anything, he would know. The cops came to his house one day and asked him if his mother was having sex with the goats and he said "Naaaa."
  • darker
    Looks like the local prosecutors are TOO STUPID to charge that crappy cop Melia
    properly and their LAWS ARE MADE BY PERVERTS.
  • MarxyMcLiberalson
    Lets see how much the judge enjoys suckling my cock!
  • edwards_com
    Cops usually do.
  • noone
    or if he's just puzzled, or feels like he's been duped out of a meal, and so forth...
  • stormy7
    that cop is one sick mother fucker
  • aghast
    were is the death penalty when you really, really need it???
  • thepoliticalcat
    Please. While this is a revolting crime, it doesn't rise to the level of deserving the death penalty. The man has a problem, no denying that. Maybe he can be rehabilitated. He hasn't killed anyone, there's no indication that he caused permanent damage, or unreasonable levels of pain and suffering. Disgust, yes. Creepiness, yes. But if he's liable for the death penalty, then we're going to be killing an awful lot of the population.
  • greylox
    **Holy crap! Must be fairly common to screw with the livestock in those parts. This cop is a real piece of work. If he doesn't hesitate sticking his dick in a baby cow's mouth, imagine what could happen to women he stopped!
  • tootiredoftheright
    He is already being chared with sexually assaulting three women and one male.

    Quite clearly he doesn't discriminate. I think this guy would be also looked at for a lot of other sexual assaults and have his dna run through the system.

    No way this guy only sexually assaulted four people and five baby cows.
  • vengance
    He should be deleted, along with the judge, from both law enforcement and from the life pool. Then, the recycle bin should be promptly emptied.
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